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The hagfish isn't so much a fish as a sentient mucus gland. It probably eats and swims too, but their primary function in the ecosystem is pretty much grossing out the other fish. In response to physical attack or the curious sadism of a lab nerd, the hagfish secretes a microfibrous slime. When this goo is combined with water it expands into a cohesive, gelatinous muck. This is fortunate because fish are known to have contact with water with some frequency. And the goo is downright amazing. Drop a single hagfish into a fish tank, and in seconds you'll have a tank full of taffy. A few drops of this stuff is sufficient to bind water dozens of times its own volume and, unlike a simple slime, the proteins it contains unravel to give it some tensile strength and durability. It is custom designed to gum up the gills of any predators whose appetite is stirred by something that looks like a length of intestine basted in petroleum jelly. This slime not only renders the hagfish nearly impossible to grasp, it prevents the thermal viscosity breakdown more common in fish using standard 10W 30. However, should a predator actually get ahold of the hagfish, it has one more trick left: It can wriggle free of their grasp by contorting its body into an overhand knot and sliding it toward the captive end. This allows them to muscle against whatever is clutching them and use a little extra hagjuice to slide itself away. At that point, the predator usually realizes it's achieved little more than a mouthful of snot for its effort and swims away to consider the health benefits of vegetarianism. Octopi are renowned for their defensive bag of tricks. Some can hide by squeezing into nooks a tenth of their width, even making a beer bottle suitable cover. Others are expert mimics, morphing their color and appearance to appear foreboding like a seasnake, scorpion fish or. a flounder. And, of course they have that whole "squirting ink" thing. But the veined octopus trumps all the others at their own game. It will cloak itself with its surroundings by squeezing into shells or any debris it can gather to form a makeshift fortress. It has adapted to this defense so well, that it has even dumbfounded Berkeley researchers by demonstrating the first evidence of bipedal movement in octopi. Yes, it gets around like Squidward from Spongebob. 2. Sea Cucumbers Puke Their Guts Out Their Butthole The sea cucumber holds the unenviable position of not only looking like a massive glistening turd, but looking equally as defenseless. When the humans name your species after a vegetable, you can tell you're probably not known for sharp teeth or claws. How does such a seeming affront to natural selection persist? Simple: This turd has skills. Sure, some sea cucumbers (such as Holothuriidae atra) have defenses like toxic secretions, and others have developed reinforced body walls so that it takes twice as long to chew them to death (yes, it's the overcooked sausage defense). But why bother with traditional defenses when you can vomit your lungs out of your ass? More precisely, some sea cucumbers have white structures called cuverian tubules attached to a portion of their respiratory tree. When perturbed, the sea cucumber expels these adhesive threads out of its anus. It provides a tender morsel for the predator to focus on instead of them. While it's busy chewing on its guts, the cucumber floats away. It's akin to a terrified cow spontaneously crapping out a filet mignon. Then again, even if you could regenerate a lung, it still seems like it'd hurt like hell to expel one from your ass every time there was an emergency. Is there a more fucked up form of defense in all of nature? 1. The Horned Lizard. Eh, We Don't Want to Ruin the Surprise Let's say you were chasing a guy. Like maybe he stole your laptop or something. He's unarmed and you've backed him into a corner. What is the one thing he can do that would completely take your mind off the laptop so badly that he could escape amid your confusion? If you said "fire a massive torrent of his own blood out of his eyeballs so hard it paints the alley red," then you should seek some kind of counseling. That is not a thing that a rational person thinks. But at least you know you're not the first to come up with the idea. The horned lizard, when threatened, actually constricts blood flow to the head, building up pressure in the small vessels inside its eyes. At the right moment, they will forcibly rupture those vessels and propel a jet of blood up to five feet away. They can do this with surprising accuracy, a trait that its cousin, the "Bleeds Like A Sprinkler Head Lizard," sadly didn't develop until chronic anemia claimed the lot of them. The purpose is not to make the predator stop and say, "Shit, did I just see that?" because apparently animals aren't as prone to such thoughts. No, the idea is that the blood is supposedly foul tasting to canine and feline predators. This trait is akin to the "I'm going to lick my Lunchables so nobody steals it" defense you used back in grade school. Just with, you know, more blood crying. Have an idea for an article? Think you're funny? Just go here and sign up. No experience necessary. And check out some more (lethal) animal defenses, in The 6 Deadliest Creatures (That Can Fit In Your Shoe). Or find out about some ridiculous ways humans defend themselves, in The 13 Most Irresponsible Self Defense Gadgets Money Can Buy. 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Big Discount 50 Off Free Shipping Nike Roshe Run Men Hyper Blue Yellow,Men Nike Free Run 4.0 Dark Grey Reflect Silver Total Orange VPT President and CEO John King and chief content officer Kathryn Scott also pictured. (LYNN MONTY, Free Press) Aiden Mumford made it known that he was a little miffed to find out his golden trophy was made of plastic, but he gave VPT CEO John King a brisk handshake, and bright smile, just the same as he accepted the award for his winning original storybook. First grader, Mumford, of Bennington, won for his illustrated story "Plaque Monster's Run." Vermont Public Television chief content officer Kathryn Scott said the story was about a hero with sparkling white teeth who eats apples, until a devious plaque monster starts distributing candy bars willy nilly to children. "He wreaks havoc," Scott exclaimed to the crowd. "You can just imagine how awful that was. This book just screams sequel." The crowd erupted with laughter. VPT President and CEO John King and chief content officer Kathryn Scott also pictured. (LYNN MONTY, Free Press) Third grader Megan Krussman, of Montpelier, held her trophy up high after she won an honorable mention for her story, "Oscar and Alphonse. with trophies, and framed certificates, contest winners, and honorable mentions, took home e readers, and iPod shuffles. Communications Director Ann Curran has been with the station for 37 years. "That is no longer being produced," Curran said. Member stations take the winners in each grade level K through 3 and send that book on to the national judging." Vermont Public Television has had three national winners, in 1996, 2003 and 2010. Entries are judged on originality, creative expression, storytelling and integration of text and illustrations. VPT provides children, parents and educators with 53 hours a week of PBS programming for kids, along with online and mobile resources, and community activities like the contest. "It's a signature event for us and we love doing it," Curran said. "Children's programming is at the heart of what we do, and always has been. It's so delightful to meet the kids." VPT's community engagement director Chuck Pizer, and content assistant Judy Gordon, organized the event, which had 198 entries. Pizer said the highlight of the contest is the culminating celebration complete with popcorn, pizza, soda, balloon animals, and the improvisational skills of the Swing Peepers, a local harmony and multi instrument duo who performed interactive songs for the crowd. Brothers Leo Powers, 8, and Huck Powers, 5, of Richmond attended the event. Their parents, Andrew and Amy Powers were there to celebrate their accomplishments. Leo asked for a Coke, but Andrew thought he was excited enough without the caffeine. "I am surprised they both won," Andrew said. "I'm all for celebrating. This event is rewarding for them. I want them to feel self motivated, but it's always fun to pop balloons and have some fun." Amy Powers said her boys put in a tremendous amount of effort in each of their stories. "They each chose a topic and got to work," she said. Colchester librarian Hannah Peacock has served on the panel of judges for six years. "I insist on coming every year," she laughed. "It's one of my favorite things. It's always a really great experience. This year was inspiring. There were so many stories that I loved. (LYNN MONTY, Free Press) Contest judges were Caitlin Corless of the Essex Free Library, Amy Cunningham of Everybody Wins! Vermont, Pat Greene of the Stern Center for Language and Learning, Kate Laddison of Kids VT, Kathy Lawrence of Hiawatha Elementary School, Pat LeMay of General Dynamics, Matt Myers of Comcast, Meg Paquette of South Burlington Community Library, Hannah Peacock of Burnham Library, Robin Sheperd of General Dynamics, and Michelle Szabo of the Stern Center for Language and Learning. The contest was sponsored by Comcast and Employee Community Action Council of the Employees of General Dynamics. (LYNN MONTY, Free Press) VPT's community partners in the project are Ben Jerry's, Bennington Free Library, Everybody Wins! Vermont, The Flying Pig Bookstore, Goodrich Memorial Library, Kids VT, St. Albans Free Library, Stern Center for Language and Learning, The Vermont Community Foundation, Vermont Department of Libraries and Vermont Humanities Council. Nike Roshe Run Men Hyper Blue Yellow If you wear tight clothes, it will restrict your movements and you will find it difficult to move freely. So one should opt for comfortable apparel rather than going for tight clothes. Also exercising means you will sweat a lot, so cotton would be a better choice than something you are likely to feel hot in. The choice of footwear while working out or lifting weights is very important. Many people believe that this does not matter much, but the truth is that sometimes lifting weights can put a lot of stress on the shoes so they should be comfortable and strong. Weight lifting shoes are usually ones with raised heels as these help in proper transmission of power between the weights and the ground. You won't be able to lift the same amount of weight if you are wearing the wrong shoes. Wearing a pair of fine quality gloves for weight lifting is not a bad idea. It will give you a better grip and will also prevent your hands form getting damaged because of lifting heavy weights. Moreover, you'll find it easier lifting weights while wearing gloves if your hands tend to get sweaty and sticky, as the gloves will give you a better grip. It is also believed that a better grip will help you lift weights longer and harder. But there are a lot of people who do not use gloves. So it is more a matter of opinion, whether you are comfortable exercising wearing gloves or not. Some people also use gloves for specific exercises only. For the back exercises, a pair of lifting straps can be of great help. They are worn around the hands and attached on the bar for stronger grip. These are particularly important wile doing exercises like deadlifts or barbell rows where there is always a risk of your hands tiring or of losing the grip. Wearing a weight lifting belt is not necessary. It will slow down the progress as it takes a lot of work off your muscles. When you are starting out, you do not want this as they will halt your development, but later as you become more experienced and start lifting heavier weights, you will realize the benefits of using a belt. All these weight lifting apparels will certainly assist you but obviously it is the effort you put in that matters most. It is all about how you train and how you eat, so that needs to be given the main importance.

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