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Word Count: 810 Oh My God A Girl! "OH MY GOD A GIRL!!" This was the cry I was met with when I arrived to meet our group for a 5 day canoe trip down New Zealand's Wanganui River. "Are you sure you know what you're doing?!" a wary fellow in his 50's exclaimed. I assured him that since I knew a heck of a lot more than he did it was in his best interest to stick with me. The rest of the group, a collection of 10 men and women from New Zealand, looked on with some amusement and guarded concern. This fellow had voiced what many of them had inwardly felt when they discovered that their guides were 'girls'. Some had assumed that Sue, a nursing student in her mid twenties, and I, a 'Yank' only a bit older, were the greeting committee. I suspect many hoped at best we were the cooks and at worst that we were driving the bus. Discovering that they were heading out for an adventure under the guidance and protection of two young women was not what they had imagined when signing on for the 80 kilometer paddle through one of New Zealand's newest river parks. This immediate shock upon discovering that they are trusting their lives and limbs to a 'girl' is something I have become used to when meeting groups of clients for the first time. Working as a white water raft guide in the United States I have seen the covert glances as the names of guides are called out for each group of paddlers: "The Taylor party, your guide will be Rich." "The McKenna party your guide will be Kevin." "The Kelly party, your guide will be Debbie." You can almost hear the collective gulp. The men in the United States are rarely so blunt as to come right out and ask me if I know what I'm doing, but they are not alone in their concern. The women often share their uncertainty as to whether they can put their faith in a female guide. It doesn't take long before I'm asked, "So. how long have you been doing this?" To which my standard response is to look at my watch and reply "Oh, since about 8 this morning," hoping a bit of levity will calm people's nerves. Sometimes knowing that I've been guiding for 10 years helps allay fears, in other cases it's not until we have made it down the last rapid, loaded the boats and are safely ensconced back on the bus (which I may also drive, prompting someone to worry aloud about 'women drivers') that my crew sighs with the relief of having survived not only the river, but me. Leadership styles vary from person to person. While many of us have strong female role models, the heroes of young Americans are typically male sports figures and action film stars. There are fewer 'scripts' for women assuming leadership positions commonly held by men. Fortunately my experience has been that it is not employers and co workers who are resistant to seeing women in leadership roles. Quality tour and guiding companies know that good judgment, experience and attitude play a greater role in hiring a leader then does gender. Instead it is the clients, the men and women who arrive nervous and excited to experience an adventure, whether it's on a rock, in the mountains or on a river, who have envisioned a strong, fearless leader who does not have breasts. I led my first trip for a group of women 20 years ago. Today I organize and lead trips for women over 40. Along with being great fun, these exclusive groups allow women the unique opportunity to see other women in positions of power and control, to witness a group of women working out problems and dealing with the host of challenges encountered on a river trip or while traveling abroad. By supporting each other and being open to seeing women in leadership roles women help each other to succeed and achieve more than they thought possible. As more and more women become visible in outdoor recreation and leadership I suspect the day isn't too far off when we're met with the exclamation "OH GREAT, A WOMAN!" As for the fellow on the canoe trip in New Zealand; I had to rescue him and his canoe after he flipped in the first rapid, but it wasn't until I barbecued a perfect medium rare steak that he was truly impressed. She lives in southern Vermont with too many dogs. 402297 001 Air Jordan 1 KO High QS Black Varsity Red White ,378037 006 Air Jordan XI Gamma Blue Black Gamma Blue Varsity Maize 332083 435 Air Jordan 1 23501 Levi Denim Pack 378037 006 Air Jordan XI Gamma Blue Black Gamma Blue Varsity Maize Air Jordan 5 Retro Black Varsity Red Metallic Silver Air Jordan 14 Retro White Sport Red Black Nike Kobe 9 Low EM Fluorescent Green 656503 720 Air Jordan Future Volt White 621958 090 Air Jordan V Womens Fresh Prince Of Bel Air 616750 600 Nike Air Foamposite Pro Area 72 You can choose from steel, titanium or composite drivers. 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Latest And Largest Collection Of 402297 001 Air Jordan 1 KO High QS Black Varsity Red White,646701 413 Nike Kobe 9 EM Game Royal 2014 By now, you've probably heard about the incredible performance by Susan Boyle on Britain's Got Talent. What an amazing display of allowing your soul to fly. Watching the video, you realize that not only the judges but the audience as well were prejudging her before she started. They were sure she would make a fool of herself. Some were even laughing. Susan is a perfect example of someone being willing to come forth with their dream and regardless of what others think, going for it. How much courage did it take for her to stand on that stage, watching the judge's faces (especially Simon's) and then sing? We can learn much from Susan about expressing our passion and letting our soul fly high. Before going onstage, Susan said, "I am going to rock the audience". So not only does she have courage, she has a deep faith in herself. How about you? Are you allowing your soul to fly? What would happen if you decided to act as if you could reach your dream? As if you did have courage and faith within yourself? How much could you change your life? Some of you might be saying that if you had the courage or faith, you'd be living your dream, so now what do you do? Both of the characteristics can be enhanced by small actions we can take on a regular basis. To begin to develop courage and faith in yourself, put these six things into practice for a week and notice the difference in yourself. 1. Begin by taking small steps. Do a little something each day toward your dream. It can be as simple as making a phone call to someone about how to get started. Or start a business plan. 2. Say No when you don't want to do something or don't have the time to do it. Oftentimes, we give in to others and agree to things we don't want to do out of fear of them disliking us or of confrontation or that we'll appear selfish. You can say no politely and tell them maybe next time. Each time you honor your own commitments, you build faith in yourself. 3. Think back over your life and make note of the times you made the right decisions or actions. Many of us have a tendency to only notice what we've done wrong and to emotional berate ourselves over it. Switch that over to being aware of the times when you "did it right"! 4. Acknowledge when you do something well or a decision you make works out as you wanted. The more we notice ourselves doing what we consider to be "right", the more we can begin to hear that small still voice of intuition. 5. You know that one thing you keep putting off because of anxiety? Tomorrow morning, first thing, do it. Like Nike says, Just Do It. Bite the bullet, take a deep breath and go for it. Whether it's a call you've put off or going for a run. Tell yourself you can do this one thing. And then Do It. You'll have so much more faith in yourself for accomplishing that one thing. My suggestion is to do each one of these for the next week and notice what happens. Taking small steps everyday, will over time, build up your courage and belief in yourself. Then you too can, like Susan, proclaim that you are going to "rock their world" and let your soul fly! 402297 001 Air Jordan 1 KO High QS Black Varsity Red White Ah, summer vacation. I don know about you, but our family is like one of those Jeep commercials, always out laughing together over toasted marshmallows in the great outdoors. We prance through the sprinkler, and walk down boardwalks licking foot high soft serve cones and carrying giant stuffed animals we just won. Ah, the memories. On this, our first non Disneyland week of summer vacation, what we have mainly done is fight. It just not natural. Yesterday I actually spanked Maggie. being the dramatic description for a small slap on the bottom, but still. We do not hit in our household. I spend about half my time trying to convince my kids of this. But I lost it. I just lost it. I lost it again a few minutes later when she refused to put on her socks and shoes and then laughed in my face as I tried get all strict mom at her. I lost it a third time when I had to ask them FIVE times to please get their lunch boxes so we could finally, finally get out the door. I been with my kids non stop for extended periods of time many times, but there is something about this week that is just really getting under my skin. Maybe it PMS. Maybe it being five. Maybe it the fact that I am packing up the entire first floor for a kitchen remodel before we leave for a month. Maybe it the awful, gray weather. Whatever it is, mystical and otherwise, that has conspired to make me cringe at the word, it been a truly sucky week. Epically sucky. All I want to do is get away from the two people I love most in the world. And here the part where you really going to judge me: Maggie and Ollie go to camp from 1 5, so I do have the afternoons off. But man, you would not believe how I look forward to 1 o I watch the clock like a condemned man. My son would have been a year old on the 17th of this month and it breaks my heart to think that there are people out there like you who take for granted the simple things kids do, like fighting and crying and acting inappropriately. I would give absolutely everything I have to have him here with me throwing a tantrum or fighting with his brother and playing to rough with his baby sister. You really need to step back and be thankful for what you have and enjoy ALL the moments you have with your children; good, bad and ugly! As a mother who had her identical twin daughters cremated four years ago I can say I identify with your hatred and loathing of being blessed enough to spend what you feel is an unnatural amount of time with your obviously living and healthy children. Before you say I don have an idea as to what it like do. I have raised two and seen them go off to college and move away to start their own lives. I have four more at home (ages 14, 12, 7 and almost 6) and trust me when I tell you there are days when they argue over who breathed in whose airspace!! And with all of the activities and running here and there and on and on and on it gets beyond insanely chaotic. But please make no mistake WOULD NEVER TRADE ONE SECOND of that insanity nor will you EVER hear me grudgingly whine about being forced to spend time with the children I chose to give birth to. Oh,and there is a solution to your desire to NOT be a mother called adoption. Look into it. In the meantime should be thanking God every day that He sees fit to allow you to have those children in your life and protects you from the devastation of having to bury either one of them!!! I not going to judge you, I enjoy time to myself too. I love my children and I fantasize about having a day all to myself. In fact, I fantasize about having 2 days to myself. The first one would just be for me to indulge myself and do whatever I want to do and the second day would be for me to actually get stuff done. My husband is away on a business trip and so I have the children all to myself and I am so thankful that I don have to do it all alone every day. Even when he late coming in the door, it a lift off my shoulders just to have him home. Sigh, it going to be a long week comment > I bet if you watched one of your children slowly pass away in your arms you would be a bit more greateful for what you do have. I get that kids can be crazy, can get annoying ect. but even when my son I have at home is screaming for hours straight, the ONE thing I look forward to everyday is waking up and seeing his smiling face. the last hour of my college courses seems to go the slowest, it seems to drag bc all I want to do is go home and be with my son, even though I know he will be crying, screaming ect, I dont look forward to anything more then seeing his beautiful face light up a room Wow. Once again Sam you have taken an honest moment of frustration and written about it with some humor, only to be taken to task as if you never enjoy being with your children if you aren grateful for every day. Of course you are, and of course your heart goes out to those who have lost a child I highly doubt that was what you meant with your post. I interpreted your words as honest exhaustion which every mother feels, but most would never admit because they are afraid of what people will say or think of them. Imagine that. Again,BIG KUDOS to you for being true to yourself and writing what many of us feel but never feel confident enough to express. PS I finding myself exhausted and summer doesn start for another few weeks. And did someone reply that you should spank your kids I really read that? While I think we all love (and need) some time I don ever want to get away from my kids the way you describe. I actually look forward to the summer my kids get out of school next week because I feel like school takes them away from me so much. I feel sad for your kids and I hope that you are just having an extra bad week and that this is not how you feel all the time. Take them to the pool, go on a hike, go out for ice cream, do something where you all can enjoy being together. Sorry, I can relate to wanting to get away from the kids to this extent. I feel that I have to give you a little support as well. I was going to send your post to my sis (who is a SAHM w/ a 2 and 5 yr old) b/c she feels so alone about not being thrilled to be around her kids 24/7 until I read all the comments posted on here. Now, I think it make her feel worse. No matter if you absolutely adore your kids and don want them dead, they will drive you nutty sometimes. I yelled at my DD today. I only done that 3xs (of course, she only 2) and I told her to leave me alone and I didn want to see her anymore. (It daddy day and I was trying to get to work). She wasn being all that bad comparatively, but after spending all day w/ her yesterday doing all sorts of fun things and engaging w/ her, I was SPENT. I had nothing more to give. Of course, after being at work all day, I can wait to see her and give her a big hug, but man, I need that distance. makes the heart grow fonder Whatever you have to do to give yourself the sanity to be there when it counts, I say, do it. Okay for those who have lost children, it truly is a heartbreak. One I know all too well. I have been getting better. It a learning process for me. The worse I act, the worse my 2 act. And I have a 20mo old and a 6mo old. Those can be some fun times. Especially the times when the 20mo old can tell you why on God green earth he wont let me set him down for 2 seconds to wash my hands. Yeah fun lol I do watch the clock for bedtime, but because by then, these 2 have had their fill of mememememmemememememme I know how you feel and I am sorry so many people felt the need to tell you to be grateful. I did not feel that you were not grateful nor a loving mother. Just a mother that needed to vent. And every mother has felt that way at some time or another. And for those that have lost children, I am sorry you have because that is a pain no one can understand, but sometimes mothers need to say what is on their mind. They do not wish ill upon their children just want to know someone else feels how they feel. I completely see where you are coming from. Come on ladies of course she loves her children. And really, suggesting adoption because she admits that she is a human being and would like to have some time for herself? Some time without kids fighting and screaming or being rude and difficult? That doesn mean you don love your kids. My goodness I have a baby who I adore, she is my world but I still enjoy those few hours after she goes to sleep where I can just sit on the couch and do nothing. I cannot fathom the pain that comes from losing your child. I can even begin to comprehend it. But it doesn make us bad parents to want a little space from our kids. I lost both of my babies to stillbirth and miscarriage! I give anything to have them back. You really need to think before you complain about your children. 1 in 3 women loose a baby. You don realize how many women would give up everything they have just to hold their baby in the arms on last time. To be able to watch their child grow up to be an amazing person. To spend summer vacations with their kids. Next time you feel like complain stop for a second and realize how LUCKY you are! How BLESSED you are! I totally feel you women! I get so tired of hanging around with my kids all day, ages 2, 3, 5, 13 and 16. I mean all they do is fight and nag, and whine and of course too, we never hit our children. We sternly tell them that they should stop doing those bad activities and try to focus on something positive. But still, OMG! I just can wait to get rid of my kids! Sometimes I wish I never had kids but then I get sad and sentimental and think to myself shooooots, I love my kids! I drop my kids off to grandma house on the weekends and I just go out and go to the clubs with my girlfriends! Hang out until like 3 4AM in the morning, get hammered and go home hung over. I usually let my kids stay over at their grammies most weekends, I say 2 3 weekends of the year I let them stay home with me when I recovering from so much partying. But ohhhhhhhhhh girls, I totally can relate! And to those who lost kids, sorry about that but even if you had your kids here, you can say what you want about you never want to leave them but that definitely NOT true! Tata! Nobody really wants their child(ren) dead. That does not mean that those of us lucky enough to have healthy children can ask for a break now and then.

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